tiggymalvern: (huh?)
Our elderly tumble dryer died yesterday. The motor makes a horrible noise and the drum doesn't turn. We don't know exactly how old it is because it came with the house, but that makes it at least nine years old, and one look at it says rather older. So I begin to google tumble dryers.

OMG people, why the hell would I want my tumble dryer to be 'smart' and programmable by phone? Unless it's smart enough to empty the washer, sort the laundry into tumble dry and dry flat and then load itself up, I'm going to be standing right next to it. Why then would I want to program it via my phone instead of using buttons and dials on the dryer?

I know that some people now come surgically attached to their phones and find it impossible to put the damn things away for even the length of a meal or a movie. But how is this anything other than a stupid gimmick to get people to pay more for a dryer?
tiggymalvern: (sin)
This morning an LJ friend of mine linked to a website with some paparazzi shots of Scott Caan, an actor in the new Hawaii 5-O TV series. Mr Caan is a surfer, and like thousands of surfers every day, he stands by his car and wraps a towel around his waist while he peels off his wetsuit and changes into dry clothes. As Mr Caan is now a Hot New Actor, unlike the others, he was being watched by a photographer who figured out that with the right camera angle and timing, he could grab a shot or two where the towel briefly draped open and Mr Caan's genitals were visible. These photographs are now available to anyone who cares to browse the internet for them.

I've been musing on this through the day, and my really big question is - why isn't this illegal?

There are voyeur laws to stop me from spying on my neighbour and taking pictures like this. There are stalking laws to prevent me from following someone around and making unreasonable intrusions into their lives. So why are those laws abandoned the moment the voyeuristic stalker has an expensive camera and a 400mm lens?

Sure, you can say, Mr Caan will have known photographers were around that day. He had the option of going to the bathroom to change instead of risking the towel. But why should he have to do that? The bathroom may be a mile down the beach. Why is Mr Caan not entitled to do what thousands of other people do every day, without his genitals being opportunistically exposed to the entire world?

There's an easy fix for this, surely. Pass a law making it illegal to publish photos of parts of anyone's body that are not considered acceptable to expose in public, without that person's written consent. People selling or publishing such photos will be fined a minimum of five times any profit they have made from the pictures. Anyone who wants to pose for Playboy can sign the form, and nobody's freedom of expression is impeded. Meanwhile, Mr Caan can dress in peace. The law would have the added benefit of putting a stop to the scumbags who publicise naked photos of their ex after a breakup - the photos may have been taken consensually, but no sticking them on the internet without written permission.

Who would object to that law, apart from the scuzzbag tabloids? So why doesn't it exist?
tiggymalvern: (wanna come get me?)
Slasher friends have been trying to convince me for a long time to watch Supernatural. I had seen a couple of episodes of Supernatural, and left with the impression that it was a boring monster of the week show, and no thank you.

More recently, some of the SO's geek friends began telling him he should watch Supernatural. I said no, it's crap. The SO's friends insisted that it gets good. So we equipped ourselves with the first season of Supernatural, and a carefully hand-picked-by-the-geeks list of the episodes that were worth watching, because they were good, or related to the arc plot. Over the last couple of weeks, we watched 11 episodes of Supernatural's first season.

Conclusions: A 'good' episode of Supernatural is like a mediocre episode of the X-Files. After one particular episode, I remarked to the SO that it was like watching the Persuaders, only in the Persuaders the fact that they're incompetent is a joke, and in Supernatural we're supposed to take these morons seriously. The plots are utterly predictable, and vary from dull to annoying. The dialogue is trite.

The SO and I are unanimous: we're not prepared to sit through any more of this drivel just because the arc plot might get interesting round about season four. We were willing to stare through a few bad episodes of Spartacus: Blood and Sand with the assurance that it got interesting at ep 4 or 5, and were very glad we did. But writers - if it takes three series for your show to become bearable, sorry, we're long gone.


In stark contrast, last night we caught up with episode 3.10 of Breaking Bad (while watching Supernatural, we got a couple of weeks behind). It's a bottle story, in which two people talk about the long term plot and try to kill a fly. And it's mesmerising. It's awe-inspiring, how tense and involving that incredibly simple piece of television is. This was a series that grabbed me by the soul in episode one, just like The Wire or Pushing Daisies did, and they don't let go. Forget Supernatural, we're about to give Treme a whirl, with high hopes. And people - if you know any other series, new or old, as good as Breaking Bad or Pushing Daisies, you'll be telling me, right?
tiggymalvern: (Xena doesn't like idiots)
A few days ago I read this newsarse commentary on the Pope and his sidekicks with some amusement. Today I find myself reading about his Palm Sunday address to the faithful.

Remind me again which one's the satire?
tiggymalvern: (emo tear)
Allow me to introduce to you the basic concept of Science, and the minor matter of facts that I was taught in school at the age of 15. If Sarah Connor is blood group O negative, then her son cannot possibly be blood group AB. Using this combination as a plot point is therefore something of an error.

If I came across this kind of mistake that can be disproved by spending five minutes with google in a fanfic, it would bug me. Finding it in a professional TV series goes beyond words.
tiggymalvern: (wtf is with this shit?)
The Seven's in the garage again this week. The only good thing to be said for the incompetent idiot in the minivan/people carrier who can't even manage to park without smacking into other people's cars is that she was an honest incompetent idiot who left a note with her name and number, confessing.

Her insurance company arranged for the SO to pick up a rental car from the place around the corner after he dropped the Seven at the body shop. The catch - they hadn't reserved any specific car on his behalf. So when he turned up to collect, he had the choice between the two vehicles they had left. Which were... a really big Ford pickup and a truly enormous Ford pickup.

The SO considered this a less than optimal exchange for our 1450lb aluminium-bodied two-seater and complained, but they were unable to provide him with an alternative that day. When he rolled up at home in this hideous excuse for a vehicle, we established that it would actually fit into the garage with a few inches to spare on either side, but frankly we couldn't be arsed, and left the miserable monstrosity outside to rust in the rain, like it deserves.

He's supposed to be taking it back today to exchange it for something reasonable - wonder what he'll be turning up in tonight?
tiggymalvern: (eat this)
I appreciate it isn't your fault that you can't read, poor dears. It's all the fault of the terrible schooling system, even though you managed to read just enough to be able to pass the theory section of your driving test many years ago. But, really, some combinations of letters are actually very simple to understand.

Take, for instance, the letters, C O M P A C and T. When you see them written them down in that sequence, it means 'small'. As in 'not large'. See? Not hard at all.

Now repeat after me:
Your Jeep Grand Cherokee 4x4 is not a compact car.
Your Ford F-250 pick-up is not a compact car.
Your Dodge Grand Caravan is not a compact car. The hint here's in the 'van' rather than the 'mini' part of the term 'minivan'.

Got it? Maybe?
No, I thought not....


On a marginally more edifying note, I did manage to find a pair of boots in the tenth shop I visited that
a) Didn't have 3 inch heels.
b) Didn't look like dockworker's steel-caps and
c) Didn't cost upwards of $100

They're longer than the ankle boots I wanted, but I'll take what I can get. There'll be a decade or more of inflation yet before I find myself willing to drop $275 on something to put on my feet and walk through the dirt in.
tiggymalvern: (you called)
I just got a call from The Dove Foundation asking for my support. Sometimes it's lovely and therapeutic to be able to tell people exactly what you think of them and their mission and their moral standpoint. Though out of respect for their delicate little sensibilities, of course, I did so entirely without swearing.

Their website does at least provide a certain level of entertainment at the inanities of small-minded people. Reviews such as the one of For Your Consideration, which the reviewer says throughout is a fantastically witty satire, and ends with, 'However, due to the language, we cannot recommend this one.' Language that consists of one each of 'hell', 'ass', 'Jesus', 'Oh my God' and 'fuck'. Oh, and there are scenes of casual drinking - how appalling!

Fascinatingly, this organisation gives its seal of approval to Jet Li's Fearless; because of course, although the movie was made so Jet Li could kick the crap out of people and fight with swords, importantly nobody swears in it. And there's not a hint of sex or nudity.

The best one, though? The best one has to be the review of Rocky Balboa. The reviewer enthuses about the story of triumph over adversity, about the main character's humble spirit and strength of character, about the demonstrated 'Respect for God and Jesus through prayer and scripture.' And then concludes with 'however, there is one GD (that's goddamn to those of you unfamiliar with Dove parlance) uttered by Paulie in a fit of anger. While many people might consider that term to accurately express the passion of the moment, Dove always draws the line at "Biblical profanity."'

Clearly it's important to draw your lines steadfast and true! Amusingly, this of course puts Rocky Balboa in the same 'not approved' category as 'Crank', which is 'totally unbelievable, profanity ridden with the "F" word being the favorite choice, and has no redeeming value at all which I can think of.' Oh, and don't forget the gratuitous sex in a public street XD

And just in case anyone hadn't quite got the message, the reviewer says of The Fountain, 'I must say, I am a science fiction fan but this movie lost me from the very beginning.'

Well, of course. Because if you had any level of intelligence or ability to think beyond what you're told, you wouldn't be a member of Dove, would you?
tiggymalvern: (eat this)
There I was driving back from the post office this morning, when I stopped at a crossing for a lady with a dog. And the 17-year-old girl in daddy's car behind me didn't. That's twice in nine months, same scenario, might as well have been the same teenaged bint. It happened to me once in Britain in 15 years.

I swear, a donkey could pass the US driving past, and many of them clearly do.

In other news, the wind's been gusting up to 50mph all day and the house is being shelled with bits of tree. I have quite a collection of firewood accumulating on my lawn and balcony.
tiggymalvern: (fuck)
...is when you drive to the pharmacy to get some drugs to let you sleep without a snotty nose and somebody rear-ends you on the way.

Note to 17-year old blonde girls driving Daddy's BMW - you might want to stop for the pedestrians at the crossing when all the other cars do. Preferably using the brakes.
tiggymalvern: (fuck)
I thought the word had at least got around this far. I thought I might have actually seen the last of dry anal sex and no prep with virgins. But no, it's back again in [livejournal.com profile] yaoi_challenge.

Oh, the pain. In every meaning of the word....
tiggymalvern: (fuck)
Someone on [livejournal.com profile] yaoi_daily just posted that notorious pic of Hisoka in shorts as A Good Thing.

I think I should die now before it gets worse.

I Bitch

May. 28th, 2005 08:13 pm
tiggymalvern: (fuck)
I hate shopping. I hate it on general principle. But I hate it even more when we're not shopping for anything we want, but stuff we're obligated to buy because of other people. Like how we had to go out today and buy a whole bunch of new special bedding, because the SO's mother doesn't want to sleep on the cheap stuff we use.

Now, admittedly this didn't cost us anything, because a year ago she gave us money to buy new bedding. But since we were perfectly happy sleeping on the cheap stuff, and frankly had better things to spend hundreds of dollars on, we didn't bother. Sadly, her arrival is imminent, and we had to spend our entire afternoon searching for things that might meet with her approval.

And it was bloody annoying. And my time is worth more than this.
tiggymalvern: (fuck)
And then I realise I haven't, and never will.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1345&item=5969319516&rd=1

And once again, the poor, confused vendor has been driven to describe this book as 'Yaoi?' Because they don't know what the hell it is either.

If anyone's morbidly interested, the book with the awful kitty look from a couple of weeks back sold for $36, BTW.
tiggymalvern: (huh?)
I think you must have to be Japanese to get the chibi ears and tail thing. I've seen it before, many times, but this is looking to be the the worst case of ears and tails around. There's something particularly awful in the details, like the way Vash's tail is all fluffed up with excitement in the last picture there....
tiggymalvern: (huh?)
I offer up the worst Trigun drag act yet.

It's Vash again, but not as we know him.... )
tiggymalvern: (vashlife - Art by Celery Parsley)
Why? Why do people do this? It makes ebay a very scary place *whimper*

Blergh....

Oct. 23rd, 2004 11:23 am
tiggymalvern: (wolfwood smoking)
The next time I look like I'm going to agree to something that I think will take me a day and somehow eats up most of a week, will someone please hit me on the head.

And I am never going to search The Pit for Trigun fics again. Never. Not for any good cause.

That is all.

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