Note to Illiterate Americans

[tiggymalvern]

I appreciate it isn't your fault that you can't read, poor dears. It's all the fault of the terrible schooling system, even though you managed to read just enough to be able to pass the theory section of your driving test many years ago. But, really, some combinations of letters are actually very simple to understand.

Take, for instance, the letters, C O M P A C and T. When you see them written them down in that sequence, it means 'small'. As in 'not large'. See? Not hard at all.

Now repeat after me:
Your Jeep Grand Cherokee 4x4 is not a compact car.
Your Ford F-250 pick-up is not a compact car.
Your Dodge Grand Caravan is not a compact car. The hint here's in the 'van' rather than the 'mini' part of the term 'minivan'.

Got it? Maybe?
No, I thought not....


On a marginally more edifying note, I did manage to find a pair of boots in the tenth shop I visited that
a) Didn't have 3 inch heels.
b) Didn't look like dockworker's steel-caps and
c) Didn't cost upwards of $100

They're longer than the ankle boots I wanted, but I'll take what I can get. There'll be a decade or more of inflation yet before I find myself willing to drop $275 on something to put on my feet and walk through the dirt in.

Comments

[nekojita.livejournal.com]

I think you should be able to slash the tires of large vehicles who park in compact spaces. At the least they should be ticketed w/ large fines because they are a driving hazard.

[tiggymalvern.livejournal.com]

I'm going with the large fines myself. They're certainly a driving hazard when you're reversing out from alongside them, and half the time, if I were fat I wouldn't be able to get in my car. But of course, if I were fat, I'd probably be driving a pick-up or a minivan....